Do you believe that you can still “have it all” if every time you say yes to something, you say no to something else?
Most people would agree with this, but some would argue against it. Personally, I say it all depends upon your well-being.
One person’s definition of overall well-being can be completely different than another’s. In fact, Maid Brigade’s latest survey on well-being and empowerment showed some strongly differing opinions on the definition of well-being. But it’s interesting that the second and third most popular definitions are so similar. (See the chart below, results were based on 879 respondents.) They both involve the notion of choice and control over one’s outcomes and perhaps destiny.
“The process of active self-awareness and choice-making for more balanced and integrated life dimensions” and “meeting the challenges presented to me” rely on a strong sense of intention. If this is true for most of us, than maybe NOT having it all is the key to having it all.
In order to say “yes” to something, we simply must say “no” to something else. If we don’t, we are taking the chance of over-extending our resources whether it’s mentally, financially, physically, or even emotionally. This results in nothing but burnt-out unhappiness.
When it comes to “yes” and “no” situations, some decisions in life are easier than others. For example, when we say “yes” to losing weight, we say “no” to delicious fattening desserts. When we say “yes” to getting married, we say “no” to the world of dating and being single. Saying “no” to clutter is saying “yes” to organization. If clutter is something you don’t like, but do nothing about, then you are really saying “yes” to clutter and “no” to its resolution. When we say “yes” to a well-balanced life and overall well-being, we say “no” to anything or anyone that causes imbalance or dissatisfaction in our lives.
Our bodies require sleep and some sort of balance between work and rest. Priorities must come into play. If not, “doing it all” will only result in over-extension. When we balance our priorities, we say “yes” to things (and people) that reflect who we are, our beliefs and our desires.
Society today has us believing that we are all “super-humans,” and that not being able to “do it all” can actually cause internal fear and stress. But fear is not the problem that prevents us from “doing it all.” The real problem lies in our unrealistic expectations of what we are humanly capable of doing.
Society also has us believing that saying “no” is a bad thing. I believe that the more comfortable we get saying “no” to things that do not reflect our priorities, the more positive and full our lives ultimately become.
Being over committed or taking on too many tasks will degrade your ability to do them all well. Saying no to some will allow you to devote that much more time, energy, and quality to the things you really want to focus on by eliminating distractions. It is intentional choice.
The power and courage necessary to determine what we decide to say “yes” to comes from identifying and committing to the priorities that are important to us. It then becomes much easier to say “no” to anything that conflicts with our self-identified priorities.
To me,” having it all” is having the freedom to say “yes” at times and “no” at others. It is owning the freedom to choose to live my life the way I want to live. It is about loving myself and giving off positive energy to those around me. “Having it all” means prioritizing my needs and my overall well-being. It is living a life of receiving and of giving back.
This month, we are celebrating the theme, “Independent YOU.” Independent YOU is about gaining independence and taking control of your life. It is looking at the real you, loving you, being reliant and making the right choices. It is learning to have control over your life and how to handle elements that are out of your control. It’s about overall well-being, and feeling good.
Join us as we take you through a journey of well-being and happiness!