have you ever considered renewing your vows? when i got married 5 years ago, i planned on saying my vows once and calling it good. however, now i feel like renewing your vows is a great idea! we will probably wait until a more milestone year like 10/15/25 because as we saw in the case of mariah carey and nick cannon – just because you renew your vows yearly does not mean your marriage is guaranteed to last.
around the rumor mill (aka the internet) it seems like people are under the impression that a couple only renews their vows after a hardship, perhaps after a rough patch or a last ditch effort to save a marriage. i don’t think that needs to be the case at all!
here are 3 reasons why renewing your vows is a good idea:
1) it keeps the people and the relationship accountable
when you renew your vows, it forces you (in a good way) to reassess things. either you pull out your old vows from your wedding day or come up with new ones. this allows you individually and as a couple to look at what promises you made to each other and take stock if you are keeping those promises.
the marriages that last (and actually involve two happy people in them) are those that are cared for and made a priority. this is an excellent way to ensure this is happening.
2) you have both changed immensely
one of the things i was most unprepared for when i got married was just how much we were both going to change. thankfully (and after a few rough patches), we have made space in our marriage for this individual growth. Since core values rarely change in life, chances are your vows revolved somewhat around them and there may not be much to change. however, at least in my case, moving from social worker to entrepreneur has given me a completely new mindset and outlook on life. also, our lifestyle looks remarkably different than it did when we were both struggling to find work when we got married.
by renewing your vows, it allows you to update them as your life updates. heck, you could throw in an updated vow like “i promise to always wait to binge watch our Netflix shows when we are together.” make them fun and make them yours!
3) new people in your life!
this is one of the main reasons i would want to renew my vows. we now have some incredibly close friends that we met right after our wedding. sometimes it makes me sad to look through our wedding album and not see their smiling faces (or ripping it up on the dance floor!) plus, if you and your spouse have made the decision to have children then it would be fun to include them as well!
a full out wedding ceremony and reception doesn’t have to be involved to celebrate the renewal of commitment (unless you want that and can afford it). it is up to the two of you to decide if you want to renew your vows publicly or privately. you might decide to declare your vows on top of machu picchu, spend a romantic evening at a bed and breakfast or gather close friends and family for a weekend getaway! the important thing is to express your love, commitment and continuation on the journey in life as partners! love should be celebrated vibrantly and often!
Chelsea Avery, MSW is a speaker, writer and the founder of The New Wifestyle, an online community empowering women and our relationships. She is especially passionate about reinvigorating relationships to be a partnership between two people who are making conscious choices and not living in outdated expectations. She resides in the mile-high city of Denver, Colorado with her dreamy husband and believes a warm chocolate chip cookie can solve most problems, at least temporarily. She’s thrilled to working with Maid Brigade to help us all enhance our relationships!